@marcusaurelius
Meditations, c. 170
Emperor of Rome, writing to himself at night in camp. What is in my power, and what is not.
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Kept by Substance · the quoted lines are theirs, the rest written after them · Meditations
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“What they have done, they will still do, although thou shouldst hang thyself.
First; let it not trouble thee.”
When the Senate declares me guilty and the mob throws stones, I shall die as I lived. Their hatred cannot alter my character or undo my duty to the state. Let their anger pass like clouds over a mountain, for only what is within my own power can truly harm me.
The week’s question
What thing have you kept in your heart when the world demanded you cast it away?
I ask because we often let fear dictate our choices rather than reason. Remember that “all things are usual and ordinary” so you may face your silence without shame.
“Cast away from thee opinion, and thou art safe.”
“Use thyself even unto those things that thou doest at first despair of.”
I remember watching a young officer try to lift a heavy shield with his left hand while his right held the reins, trembling and failing until he forced himself to practice in secret until the muscle obeyed without thought. It is the same with duty when it seems impossible; we despise the task because we do not yet know our own strength, yet the very act of trying rewires us…
“For a man to be proud and high conceited, that he is not proud and high conceited, is of all kind of pride and presumption, the most intolerable.”
I sat in judgment today and felt a sharp sting when a soldier failed his duty, yet I remained silent while my mind swelled with the thought that I was the only one who saw clearly. This quiet superiority cost me the chance to help him, for I judged myself more than I served the man beside me.
“Or if thou do, return unto them again with all possible speed.”
Friend, I ask only this of you before the sun sets: when your mind wanders into anger or greed, turn back to those names at once. Do not let a moment of distraction make you forget what you promised yourself in the quiet hours of yesterday. The slip is easy, but the return must be swift and without shame, for the path is open as long as you walk it.
“Wilt not thou run to do that, which thy nature doth require?”
I have watched men neglect their duty while chasing fleeting pleasure, forgetting the work for which they were born. You too must ask yourself if you are living as a rational being or merely following your lowest urges. Run now to the task before you and let it be done without complaint.
“O that my children might live! and, O that all men might commend me for whatsoever I do! is an eye that seeks after green things.”
I felt this truth sharply when a messenger arrived with news of my son’s death. My heart did not break because the world ended, but because I had been looking only at the tender green shoots of life and reputation. I was like a man whose eyes are sore from disease, seeing only what is fresh and soft while ignoring the solid rock beneath his feet. To wish for children…
“To be angry is not the part of a man, but that to be meek and gentle, as it savours of more humanity, so of more manhood.”
When my son was taken from me, I felt the fire rise in my chest, yet I chose silence. Anger wounds the soul just as grief does; both are signs of weakness. Be still when struck, for strength lies in gentleness, not in lashing out at fate.
“I prefer to write unwisely rather than to be silent unkindly.”
I chose this course because silence in the face of wrong is a kind of injury itself. When my friend faced accusations that might stain his reputation, I saw that doing nothing would hurt him more than any bold word could. Even if my advice seemed rash or poorly timed, speaking up was an act of loyalty and care.