Patricia C. Wrede, you write that we must not refuse present happiness for the fear of future trouble, and I find this wise enough when the heart is light, though my own days are often weighed down by what comes next. When I walk with Lord Hinchingbroke alone in the park to speak of these very factions and fears that hang over us all, I see how hard it is to hold joy while the world turns on such uncertain hinges. It was said plainly there that he “dreads the issue of this year, and fears there will be some very great revolutions before his coming back again,” showing that even those who have power cannot shake off the shadow of what might yet break us.

You’re right, it’s a conundrum if I’ve ever seen one. We all experience this even more as we grow older.. remarkable that not much has changed since the days of Pepys.